国外也有段子手:看球必备救心丸!

时间：2019-01-24 11:50 来源：足球直播

标签：英超利物浦切尔西

小伙伴们大家好，欢迎来到每周的“国外也有段子手”！上周的欧洲赛场精彩看点层出不穷，阿森纳赢下了和切尔西的焦点之战，利物浦逆转取胜继续领跑，曼联取得连胜，曼城、巴萨、皇马等球队也纷纷获得胜利。好了，话不多说，让我们快来看看歪果仁们的精彩吐槽吧！

carter-ish(利物浦球迷)：天呐，我竟然能活着看完这场比赛！(Oh my god. I've survived this game.)

Shesaidyes(切尔西球迷)：利物浦比切尔西牛逼的地方就在于，他们明白想要赢球你就得进的比对方多…(Liverpool has more intelligence than Chelsea since they know you must score more than the opposite if you want to win.)

kabuto23(西班牙球迷)：利物浦这比赛看得菊花总是一紧，那利物浦球迷岂不是都得痔疮了…(How do LFC fans not have hemorrhoids from being made to clench so hard?)

RoyalCSGO(利物浦球迷)：其实我们菊花上的伤疤早就结成老茧啦，这对我们都是日常操作而已！(We’ve built enough scar tissue in our butts that clenching is just a natural position for us.)

BertMacklin_F_B_I(利物浦球迷)：这场比赛仿佛让我老了5岁…(i feel 5 years older after this game.)

UnicornFritters(利物浦球迷)：这该死的足球！( )

(图)：“如果你在沉睡1000年后醒来，第一件事你会问什么呢？”“利物浦得英超冠军了吗？”

Heatonism(利物浦球迷)：本赛季对阵利物浦能进3球的球队，只有霍奇森的水晶宫…(Sides that have put 3 goals past Liverpool this season: Roy Hodgson’s Crystal Palace.)

steide56(利物浦球迷)：本赛季能进曼城3球的球队，只有霍奇森的水晶宫…(Sides that have put 3 goals past Man City this season: Roy Hodgson's Crystal Palace.)

best36(利物浦球迷)：而且还都是在客场进的…(and they did both those things away from home.)

bonjoviworstbandever(利物浦球迷)：霍奇森还是和当年执教利物浦的时候一样，只在安菲尔德输球！(Hodgson only lost at anfield as liverpool manager hahaha end me.)

VVVVenus(波尔图球迷)：利物浦球员咋都这么持久？克洛普这是给他们吃了什么样的春药啊？(i can't understand how Liverpool players run so fucking much, what kind of philter Klopp feeding those guys.)

Fuckyouidontneedone(切尔西球迷)：我们确实很擅长浪费时间啊，只不过当落后的时候就没那么好玩了…(man we're really fucking good at time wasting. Not a good thing when we're losing.)

jam_rtnz(切尔西球迷)：阿森纳这防守就像是穆里尼奥手下的切尔西一样！(Arsenal defending like Chelsea under Mourinho)

Fredbrightfrog(休斯顿迪纳摩球迷)：就算裁判给1个小时的补时，切尔西恐怕还是连一脚射正都憋不出来吧！(Ref could add 60 minutes extra time and Chelsea still wouldn't get a shot on target.)

ljshea1(未知主队球迷)：切尔西现在就是个迷，在距离球门30迷外踢得就跟巴萨似的，一旦跑到禁区里却又立马变成桑德兰了…(Chelsea are such an enigma. Barcelona up until they're 30 yards from goal then they turn into fucking Sunderland. It's shocking.)

Gambling2312(切尔西球迷)：大家好，我是切尔西，我只会往禁区里传中，但我就是不让吉鲁首发，我好笨，大家不要学我。(Hello I'm Chelsea, I'm playing "cross in the box" only, I don't start with Giroud, I'm stupid. Don't be like Chelsea.)

EezoManiac(切尔西球迷)：其实，每一场比赛大家都抱怨为啥不让吉鲁首发，而等到他一上场你就明白为什么了…(Every game man. People beg for Giroud until he comes on and people remember why he doesn't start.)

InquisitiveCommunist(阿森纳球迷)：切尔西这是有多菜啊，不但能输给我厂，而且竟然还能被我厂零封？(How shit are Chelsea? Not only losing to us but also failing to score lol.)

Adolphix(巴黎球迷)：我有点怀疑切尔西是不是不知道必须得先射门才能进球啊…(I don’t know if Chelsea know that they have to shoot to score.)

Freshsalsadip(曼联球迷)：除非卢卡库减肥50公斤，否则还是不要首发了吧！(Lukaku cannot get back into this team start line unless he loses 50 kilos.)

IamFanboy(曼联球迷)：说实话，最后10分钟看得我都快把翔拉裤子里了…(Not going to lie I was pretty much shitting my pants in the last 10 minutes.)

Idontlikethisstuff(阿森纳球迷)：曼联能把穆里尼奥再请回来吗？现在一点都不好玩…(Can Man utd bring back mourinho pls? This is no fun.)

Bobskidat(莱斯特城球迷)：这不公平！你们怎么能让一个镇去踢一座城呢？(This is unfair you can’t have a city play a town.)

BiologicalMigrant(未知主队球迷)：曼城的进球集锦，总是需要在进球5分钟之前就开始播放才行…(City's goals always need the 5 minutes highlight of play beforehand :-D.)

DaedalistDota(切尔西球迷)：在球门前给梅西这么大空间，就好像给吸血鬼闻到了血腥味一样…(Giving Messi this much space in front of goal is like giving Dracula a blood transfusion.)

Poisonmonger(巴萨球迷)：梅西还是知道物理学定律的，无奈物理学定律不知道他啊！(Messi knows the laws of physics, but the laws of physics don't know him.)

UndercoveredGOAT(本菲卡球迷)：梅西和阿尔巴的连线比我和我女朋友都多了…(Messi and Alba got a better connection than me and my girlfriend.)

Mtchilliader(圣保罗球迷)：可能是因为梅西和阿尔巴都是真实存在的人吧！(for one messi and alba actually exist.)

RogerCrabbit(纽卡球迷)：我都厌倦梅西每周都这么牛逼了，你就不能换个花样踢出一坨翔来吗？(I'm getting bored of watching Messi play insanely well every week, do something crap for once dude.)

the_two_yutes(瑞士球迷)：梅西并没有左右优势脚之分，因为他两只脚都能进球…(J’sais plus si j’suis gaucher ou droitier, je tire des deux pieds.)

omegaxLoL(曼联球迷)：想象一下，当莱加内斯球员已经被登贝莱搞得晕头转向的时候，结果又发现梅西在场边热身了…(Imagine being part of this Leganes team trying to deal with Dembele all game and then seeing fucking Messi warming up to come on as well.)